- Montague Whitsel
I.
The Calling (16.10.06)
I hear You calling_
but I cannot respond;
for I have lost my red-gold phone
and have thus dis-placed the Path
I
used to take to the pool
where Your Word makes ripples
in our mysterious mortality. 1
I hear You calling_
but
I am not ready for the Journey
—much less the Dream—
to
begin again. 2
I am lost from You now.
Love has distracted me from Love,
and I cannot bear
to
tear and rend
the
flesh of our hearts—
Crucifixio Redux Agapeo;
—in any New Crucible
of Transfiguration. 3
Yet_
You left me alone long before
I ever woke up
to
find myself abandoned_
and now I have no more need
of You. 4
So be it!
II.
Fobbing Off (22.11.06)
The fob
rebounds_
I lose myself
in the Lost and Found
of
my soul’s empty cache.
Swinging_
Hope
drowns
as
the line of the fob swings
back
and forth
through the
plane
of
my crossed existence.
Never quite
crossing
the
point where
I AM_
the
vertical plumb
almost passes through
Me_
—but
not quite—
and not until I
am gone full_tilt
_once
again—
into some other
flitting distraction! 5
The point is to
be
at
the place of intersection
between the
horizontal plane
and
the vertical plumb-line
of Mystery and transfiguration! 6
Yet, I have not
been there
for
so long
that I cannot
remember
the
song I used to sing
in the days
when I first found Vision
finding
me_
swinging
to and fro—
from the ever-still
Worlding Tree! 7
finis.
III. Almost Abandoned (23.06.07)
I have wandered
so far away—
That I don’t
know where You are
anymore.
I have crossed
the verdant divide
and
found my self;
lost
of the scent of You.
I have wandered
long and far
on
the Path You set my feet upon,
and gone deep
into wondrous stories
of the Earth_ 8
But sometimes_
I wonder where
You are—
and
will I ever find You again?
Are You waiting
for me evermore
at
some far-off oasis-like vista;
beyond the
Wilderness Rim? 9
I have wandered
so far now
that I don’t
know where You are
anymore_
If You call me,
will I hear it?
If You send for
me_
will the
messenger lose his way?
Here I Am, in
this Wilderness— 10
Awaiting
Your Reply.
Sincerely Yours;
A Wilderness Wanderer
IV. First Love (30.06.07)
It was for Love
that I left You—
_for love.
I left You in
the Morning of Eternity_
when
the light was new to me
and
my soul was freshly won. 11
I wandered off
into this Wilderness
with
love.
I abandoned You
at noon
to
walk_ enchanted as a loon
with the one
who had chosen me
at the same
time that I chose him. 12
I have let go
of Love
for
the love that was given me.
He has come and
let me slip free
from
the shackles of those beliefs
for which I had
grown too wise.
Even still_ I
remember You_
for
You were my First Love. 13
Yet it was for
Love that I left You;
_for love.
I heeded the
Gift like a summons
to mystical self-completion—
it
was Your Gift of Love to me;
was
it not?!
It was only
after leaving You
that I wondered
—but
not for years—
if You are
still there, any more;
my First Love. 14
Sincerely,
A
Devout Wanderer
In the
Wilderness
V. Found Again (12.07.07)
In the
Emptiness I found You—
where
Nothing Else was.
Beyond the
Glistening ideals;
having
thrown off the dross
of religions
and superstitions.
Naked but not
yet barren
I came to You
in the Night of Splendor,
seeking only a
Touch_
from
Nothing. 15
I find myself
followed in You
Hallowed by
You_
allowed to
venture beyond constraints_
yet captured by
You.
I find myself
in being Found by You. 16
Found again_
wandering where
I knew not;
Beyond the
limits of thought and belief
I found myself
found by You_
as if coming
around a corner
and
falling into an abyss
of
self-emptying Love.
O_... _There U
R. 17
Sincerely
Startled,
A
Wanderer in the
Wilderness
